Have you ever opened your underwear drawer and instinctively chosen a garment of a specific color rather than another? Well, that’s called the unconscious. The psychotherapist we’ve interviewed helps us define the relationship between lingerie and self-esteem by addressing to the unconscious as “a drawer full of untidy lingerie” (we know something about it, don’t we?). It is actually surprising that the unconscious regulates our relationship with underwear, yet it happens (like it or not) every day. Even more, underwear helps us define who we are also through the image of ourselves reflected in the mirror. What do we like about that image and – above all – how to embrace those we consider defects? We asked these questions on self-esteem and self-confidence to Dr. Roberta Senese, Psychologist specialised in strategic psychotherapy with neuro-scientific orientation.
Roberta, how can a woman rediscover herself through lingerie?
Lingerie represents the essence of femininity: it is often associated with charm and seduction, but in reality it holds a much deeper meaning. Through the choice of her lingerie, every woman can get in touch with the most intimate part of herself, becoming aware of it. Obviously, over time the process of growth and transformation of the female body undergoes changes with hormonal variations (and not only). This determines a great difficulty: adapting by accepting the change of the body as a sign of evolution. Hence the choice of lingerie – the comfortable one or any design that generates feelings of naturalness and ease – varies from woman to woman, but always and in any case stems from a connection with one’s needs. The more a woman manages to get in touch with her body, the greater is the ability to relate to the world with confidence, strength and determination. Mind and body are in constant connection even when it doesn’t seem like it.
Is it really the unconscious that guides us in choosing the color of our lingerie in the morning?
We imagine the unconscious as if it were a drawer full of untidy lingerie: the unconscious is the hidden part that guides our choices beyond reason. It is the unconscious drive, the drive towards something new, different, unexplored. It is uncontrollable energy capable of generating evolution. So, yes, the unconscious can always guide us, even in the morning when choosing the underwear and clothing to wear! Starting from a sensation, an instinctive choice can be made. Which is never entirely coincidental.
How do colours manage to have a positive/negative impact on our mood?
From a psychological point of view, the impact of colours on mood is particularly strong: colour evokes emotions, arouses suggestion. For example, think of the creation of a painting, which obviously arises from the projection of the artist’s moods and his ability to communicate sensations, emotions through the mixing of colours. Consequently, colour always has an impact on our mood: the choice varies according to memories, stories, positive or negative experiences. The choice of colour communicates what we feel.
In general, how fine is the line between self-esteem and self-confidence? And how do they affect the choice of underwear?
Self-esteem and self-confidence: what a complex balance! Self-esteem can be built day after day, resulting in an increase in self-confidence. It arises from the evolution and awareness of one’s own limits and resources, but it certainly concerns many aspects (including the relationship that every woman has with her body). As in any aspect of
Can we work on our self-confidence by wearing a simple piece of lingerie?
Of course yes, but that’s not enough. It would be nice if a simple piece of lingerie could generate self-confidence, but the process is much more complex. We should start from ourselves and evolve through experience without fear, overcoming limits and accepting difficulties. However, it remains true that the choice of a lingerie item can certainly represent something very special: it is intimacy, self-love.